When do we say, this is your stuff and this is mine. When a child has a tantrum have you stepped back and looked at how you felt to begin with, is that child just acting out how you truly feel inside but was to scared to show?
A young child picks up on energy way before an adult, they have no concept of whats wrong or right but express exactly what they feel is needed in the moment. an adult on the other hand will hold onto anxiety, anger and other built up emotions until they feel it is appropriate to express and even then they might not ever. What if your child is just expressing a built up feeling he or she can feel off you and allowing you to deal with that emotion as it came up?
The one way to really get to the bottom of a problem is to take an honest look at one self with no blame and see what is really happening within you, is that child just a reflection?